F O C U S

November 8, 2018
In my last post I talked about how I didn't know what I was doing and quite frankly, I was having an absolute meltdown about my life. I didn't (still don't but that's beside the point) know what the hell I wanted to do with my life and I was in a frenzy trying to figure it out. Like I said, I hate not having something to work towards. I like to keep busy. I'm quite energetic and I always want to know what I'm doing next. So being someone who likes to get sh*t done, and who is all about reaching targets and achieving goals, but also someone who has dropped out of college and hasn't really figured this whole 'adult' thing out yet, is proving to be a bit of a problem.

Nevertheless, I took a little step back from it all for a few days. I didn't think about what I was going to do. I didn't panic every time I saw someone else graduating. I just switched off, watched some Vampire Diaries and didn't worry. If I did feel the worry creeping in, I reminded myself that I am 21 (aka a baby) and I have lots of options, and I calmed myself.

So after my little hiatus from panicking about how my life is doomed I took a moment a reassessed. I've realised that my problem is I jump ahead too quickly, I get irritated when things don't immediately fall into place, I get worked up when things don't go my way and then I give up. So my problem isn't that I don't have a goal, it's that I put too much pressure on myself to reach the goal in limited time and then I get demotivated when things aren't instantly achieved.

So, all I need to do is focus on what I want and keep working towards it. I need to remind myself that everything takes time and patience. When I feel myself getting frustrated with slow progress, instead of packing it all in and giving up, I just need to remind myself to stay focused and keep working because that is half the battle.

Who The F* Am I?

November 5, 2018

Does anyone else feel confused? I will be scrolling through Instagram and I'll suddenly get hit with the thought: 'Who the hell am I?'. It's not okay. I've been me for nearly 22 years now, you'd think I'd be finally beginning to figure this sh*t out.

I don't know what it is. To be fair though, (and not to sound like an oldie) sometimes I think it might be down to social media. All day, every day, I'm reading other people's thoughts, hearing about other people's day and seeing photos of all these people living their life. It makes me wonder, why am I not like that? Not in any 'I wish I was someone else :(' type of thing but just in general. Everyone seems so sure of themselves, and I'm just put here trying to decide if we are living in a simulation or not.

It's a strange one. Sometimes I feel like I'm this confident, out spoken, live life, be successful, adventurous kind, sometimes I feel like a chilled, in touch with myself, meditating, breathe in...breathe out, zen type and sometimes I'm like let me lie in bed all day watching Netflix, don't talk to me, close the door on the way out, moody sixteen year old.

I don't know what's going on. Maybe I'm in desperate need of a break from social media, or maybe I'm still just growing up.

Reintroducing Me

October 24, 2018

Hey. Since it's been a while since I properly blogged I thought I would share a little about me. I think it's important to sit down every so often to think about the person you are, how things have changed, and what you want to do or where you want to go next. I'm very different than I was when I started this blog. Back then I was massively interested in beauty and while I still love anything that will make me more beautiful, my interest has shifted more to fashion.

It's also funny how we can almost grow into our interests? Take for example, I was always interested in astrology but more so recently. When I was younger I always read the astrology section in magazines first and I always wanted to buy Sagittarius charms, necklaces, etc. Now I'm massively interested in all aspects of astrology and I put all my faith in it. Call me crazy but, I'm a Sagittarius.

In other news, I'm currently at home in Donegal and I'm now a certified nail technician which is good because seeing people who I started college with graduating all this week has been pretty crap. People are getting real jobs and I haven't a notion what I want to do with myself. It's fine, though. Honestly, what is the rush?

I'm still trying to figure out which direction I want to take my blog. I'm kind of liking this short rambly vibe but it might be incoherent to most people. I feel like it's more me, though. I talk a lot of nonsense and trying to piece together a full blog that reads smoothly is much too difficult for me. So expect more of whatever -this- is, from now on.