November 8, 2018
In my last post I talked about how I didn't know what I was doing and quite frankly, I was having an absolute meltdown about my life. I didn't (still don't but that's beside the point) know what the hell I wanted to do with my life and I was in a frenzy trying to figure it out. Like I said, I hate not having something to work towards. I like to keep busy. I'm quite energetic and I always want to know what I'm doing next. So being someone who likes to get sh*t done, and who is all about reaching targets and achieving goals, but also someone who has dropped out of college and hasn't really figured this whole 'adult' thing out yet, is proving to be a bit of a problem.

Nevertheless, I took a little step back from it all for a few days. I didn't think about what I was going to do. I didn't panic every time I saw someone else graduating. I just switched off, watched some Vampire Diaries and didn't worry. If I did feel the worry creeping in, I reminded myself that I am 21 (aka a baby) and I have lots of options, and I calmed myself.

So after my little hiatus from panicking about how my life is doomed I took a moment a reassessed. I've realised that my problem is I jump ahead too quickly, I get irritated when things don't immediately fall into place, I get worked up when things don't go my way and then I give up. So my problem isn't that I don't have a goal, it's that I put too much pressure on myself to reach the goal in limited time and then I get demotivated when things aren't instantly achieved.

So, all I need to do is focus on what I want and keep working towards it. I need to remind myself that everything takes time and patience. When I feel myself getting frustrated with slow progress, instead of packing it all in and giving up, I just need to remind myself to stay focused and keep working because that is half the battle.